Day #21: Feedback With Finesse
Perfect Practice
Welcome to Day 21 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Now that you've practiced stepping into moments that matter and setting expectations to help groups prepare better, today turns to another core leadership capability: feedback.
Think of feedback as a gift to help someone, not a field day for criticism. Skillful feedback is specific, behavioral, and forward-looking. It focuses on actions or behaviors and the impact, not on who a person is. Conveying feedback with care and clarity helps people improve, feel seen, and stay connected to shared goals. Steering clear of personal judgments and using curiosity to help a person to consider how others may be perceiving them can make the difference between feedback that demotivates and feedback that inspires growth.
Today's Challenge Scenario:
You've noticed that a colleague regularly interrupts others in team discussions. It's subtle (not rude on its face), but it repeatedly cuts off others' contributions and dampens engagement. The dynamic has become noticeable and is affecting team flow and psychological safety. You know the person cares about the team's success and probably isn't doing this on purpose, but if nothing changes, the pattern may become more entrenched. You care about collaboration and want to raise this in a way that strengthens trust, not bruises confidence.
What do you do?
Instead of bluntly calling them out or avoiding the issue, try a clear, compassionate, behavior-focused conversation. A way to initiate might sound like: "Hey, can I share something I've noticed that might help our team conversations go even more smoothly?" or "In the last few meetings, I noticed a couple of times when others were speaking that you stepped in quickly. <pause> How do you think others may have felt?"
Why this works: Skillful feedback is specific, observable, and actionable—not vague or personal—and well received. So it's key to ensure the recipient understands that you're on their side as you share details of the what, why, and what's next. When you give feedback that doesn't leave someone guessing or feeling judged, you invite dialogue, empathy, and shared solution-building.
Try noticing the impact this approach has on both the relationship and the behavior itself. Do you feel the conversation landed with more mutual understanding?
Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!
