Day #1: It Starts With You
Intro to the Me–You–We Framework | ME

Welcome to Day 1 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge–and take a moment to acknowledge this: you're here! You've already taken the first step toward investing in yourself. That matters.

Today we're celebrating how far you've come and opening the door to greater growth. Here's a chance to start 2026 with a bang–beginning with you! 

Me–You–We is the simple, powerful Say It Skillfully framework for professionals at any level to apply in ways that work for you to speak with clarity, build trust, and contribute fully. 

"Me," as in leading myself first, is the crucial first step, and it starts with "how you show up"–your energy. Right now, are you engaged and curious? Or meh. How you show up will set the stage for success (or not) before you utter a single word.

So, Today's Challenge: Through the day notice your energy, your state ("How am I showing up right now? How are OTHERS perceiving me?")  
Take brief notes as you transition activities and people, and be ultra mindful of how you're moving through space. No need to judge it. If you notice, "Gee, I'm feeling antsy or annoyed or rushed or proud...", then ask yourself why? Consider: am I letting others drive how I show up? 

At the end of the day, reflect on the notes you took. What insights/learnings are there for you? 

There's no right or wrong here. Awareness is the win. With awareness comes the opportunity to make a change (or not). 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this! 

Day #2: The Power of Perspective
Intro to the Me–You–We Framework | YOU

Welcome to Day 2 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! You showed up yesterday–bravo! Today shifts focus from "me" and looks outward to "you". 

The Me–You–We framework is designed for flexibility. You can work it in sequence, or as needed, hone directly in on the part you need most. Yesterday was about leading myself with awareness, and the next skill is truly connecting with others–connecting as human beings, not "project manager to developer" or "sales rep to marketer." Effective communication isn't about what you say; it's about what the other hears.  

When things get tense, it's easy to dig in, defend our position, or assume bad intent. Yet the skillful communicators do something different: they pause and get curious–seeking to understand where the other is coming from, even when it's uncomfortable. Empathy isn't agreement. It's perspective. 

Today's Challenge: As you interact with people through your day, whether a conversation, email, meeting, or moment of tension (past or present), be intentional about asking yourself: "What's going on for the other person? What might they be thinking or feeling? What pressures or priorities may be influencing them?" 
Simply take note of what shifts when you look at the situation through their lens. If you catch yourself resisting or feeling defensive, get curious about why. What assumption might you be making? What might you be missing? 

At the end of the day, pause to reflect on what stood out for you–what new perspectives emerged, and where did your thinking expand (or stay fixed)? Again, there's no right or wrong here. Noticing is the work, and with that awareness comes the choice to respond more thoughtfully the next time.  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this! 

Day #3: Better Together
Intro to the Me–You–We Framework | WE

Welcome to Day 3 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! In days 1 & 2, you focused inward on "me" and outward on "you". Today brings it together with "we". 

This part of the framework is often overlooked. Once you lead yourself with awareness and seek to understand others, the win-win is in creating something powerful together: a shared reality.    

"We" is about adopting a better together mindset to best serve the whole. It's recognizing that we're all part of both the problem and the solution. Shared reality means getting on the same page, not only about objective facts, but also about the human experience–how people feel, what matters to them, and where they're coming from. When we align on both, we create a common platform from which teams can move forward with clarity and momentum. 

Today's Challenge: In a conversation today (a meal, a decision, or even a quick exchange), pause and try a simple alignment tool. Either silently or out loud, form a sentence that captures what you think "we" are aligned on: "Here's what I'm hearing we agree on..." or "Let me check that we're on the same page..." Then listen and notice what is revealed.  
Does it surface gaps, assumptions, or new information? Pay attention to whether people lean in, correct you, or relax once things are clarified. There's no need to make it perfect; clarity comes from trying.  

At the end of the day, reflect on where this small check created momentum or saved time. What did it reveal about shared reality? What might you do sooner next time? 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this! 

Day #4: Appreciation in Action

Welcome to Day 4 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! So far, you've done some practice in leading myself first (me), connecting as human beings (you), and creating alignment with others (we). Today is the gift that helps bring all 3 together, and it doesn't cost you a cent: appreciation.  

Virtually no one feels "over-appreciated"! In the speed of life, appreciation is often assumed, delayed, or skipped altogether, especially when things feel busy or results-driven. Yet it's one of the simplest and most powerful ways to strengthen connection, build trust, and elevate performance. When appreciation is expressed skillfully, people feel valued. And when people feel valued, trust deepens and performance rises.   

Three tips to appreciation that acknowledge someone and strengthen relationships: 
1. Timely: Ideal if in the moment, but circling back after the fact still works great 
2. Specific: Acknowledge the effort/contribution in a way where the other knows that you know what they did  
3. Heartfelt: Let your genuine feeling come across–not as obligation, but with the respect and gratitude for someone going the extra mile, making a difference, or doing what was right when it may not have been easy

Today's Challenge: Think of someone you interact with regularly (a colleague, friend, family member, or partner) and ask yourself: "What do I genuinely appreciate about them that often goes unsaid?" Then make someone's day and express it.   
It could be a quick message, a longer conversation, or even a sentence dropped into the flow of the day. Take notice of not just their reaction, but how it shifts the energy between you.  

How did expressing appreciation affect the other person? How did it affect you? What might change if this became a more regular habit? Appreciation, when practiced intentionally, becomes a powerful multiplier for trust, connection, and results. 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #5: My Fair Share
Me–You–We | Diving Deeper with ME

Welcome to Day 5 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Way to go if you've invested a little time these first few days. You're making meaningful progress in noticing how you show up, empathizing, aligning, and appreciating others!  

Today invites a slightly different kind of reflection, not to be hard on yourself but to be objectively curious. Because often the fastest way forward is honestly looking back at where we just might be getting in our own way. 

Skillful communication is more than what others do or how situations unfold; it's also about recognizing where and how we may be contributing to what's not working too well. That kind of introspection takes courage, and it's essential for meaningful change.

Today's Challenge: Grab a piece of paper or open your notes app and take a few quiet minutes to reflect on a particular issue or poor relationship dynamic: In what ways might I be contributing to the disconnect, i.e., how may I inadvertently be part of the problem? 

To help you get started, here's a few prompts: 

• Where do I get defensive, shut down, or avoid speaking up?

• What habits, assumptions, or reactions might be getting in my own way? 

• How might my energy, tone, or timing be affecting outcomes?

Now (and this part matters) shift from reflection to growth. Look back at what you wrote and question: What's one small change I could experiment with? What would "better" look like next time? Jot down a few concrete ideas, even if they feel imperfect. 

This work isn't about blame or self-criticism. It's about understanding yourself more fully so you can choose differently, and more skillfully, going forward. Insight creates options, and options create change.  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #6: What's Beneath the Surface?
Me–You–We | Diving Deeper with YOU

Welcome to Day 6 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today, we focus on one of the most underrated communication skills: listening for what's really going on.  

Most of us listen to respond, solve, or defend. Skillful communicators listen differently. They listen for meaning—for what matters, what's missing, and what might be hard to say out loud—because what people say is often only part of the message.

Revisiting you at this stage helps deepen connection. When people feel truly heard, not just acknowledged, trust grows, tension eases, and conversations move forward more productively. 

Today's Challenge: In your interactions today, resist thinking about what you'll say next and focus on what's underneath the other person's words. Ask yourself: "What might they be needing right now? What concern, priority, or emotion could be driving this?"
If it feels appropriate, reflect it back with a simple check-in like, "It sounds like this is really important to you," or "I'm hearing some frustration—am I getting that right?" 

Notice what changes when you slow down and listen at this level. Does the tone shift? Does the conversation open up? Do you feel less reactive or more connected?  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #7: Serving the Whole
Me–You–We | Diving Deeper with WE

Welcome to Day 7 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! You've been practicing aligning on shared reality, expressing appreciation, listening beneath the surface, and owning your part in the dynamic. Today builds on all of that by maintaining focus on we throughout a conversation, especially as disconnects may unfold.  

Creating shared reality is one thing; sustaining it is another. 

The strongest teams and relationships don't rely on perfect communication. They rely on people who notice when "we" start to wobble—when assumptions creep in, energy drops, or momentum slows—and are willing to gently steady it. That's collective ownership for collective communication in action.

Today's Challenge: In a group interaction today (a meeting, collaboration, or shared decision), pay attention to how the "we" are working together. Ask yourself: "Are we still aligned? Are we moving as one, or as disjointed silos?" 
If you sense drift, try one small move to reinforce the shared interest: summarize what's been decided, name what still feels unclear, or invite a quieter voice into the conversation. No fixing required—refocus everyone on what serves the whole, the greater good. 

Notice what happens when someone aims to serve the whole group, not just their own role. Does tension ease? Does progress pick up?

At the end of the day, reflect on where the "we" felt strong. Identify where it might need a nudge. What did you learn about your ability to influence group dynamics without control or force? 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #8: Influence Without Authority
Being ADEPT | Be an Advocate

Welcome to Day 8 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! After a week of showing up for yourself, you're ready to make your presence count. Starting today, we begin developing a new set of skills that elevate how you communicate in real time: being ADEPT in your communication.  

It starts with Advocacy.  

Being an advocate is not about having the loudest voice or the best answer. It's about recognizing moments when the conversation would be stronger, fairer, or more complete if another voice were heard and choosing to act on that instinct. Advocacy is influence with intention. This is a different kind of communication muscle that requires presence, courage, and care. When practiced well, it changes not just outcomes but culture as well. 

Today's Challenge: Today, don't wait for the "right" moment; create one. Identify one interaction where you can intentionally advocate for someone else. 
Try inviting someone in ("I'd love to hear what you think"), pausing the momentum ("Let's slow down and make sure we've heard a few more perspectives"), or acknowledging and amplifying ("I want to build on what ___ just shared—that feels important").

How did it feel to advocate intentionally? Did someone show up differently once they felt supported? What did you learn about your ability to shape conversations without taking over?

Advocacy isn't a one-time act. Like any skill, it gets stronger with use, and with practice, it becomes a natural part of how you lead and connect. 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #9: Expanding Your Point of View
Being ADEPT | Be Diverse

Welcome to Day 9 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Yesterday, you started with advocacy, using your voice to help others be heard. Today builds on that skill by expanding what gets heard: different perspectives, experiences, and ways of thinking. 

Being diverse in communication isn't about agreeing or being "nice." It's about resisting the urge to judge, dismiss, or rush past viewpoints that feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or inconvenient. The most skillful communicators know that better outcomes come from embracing difference, not smoothing it over or making it "wrong or bad".  

Be Diverse means choosing curiosity over certainty. It's recognizing that people see the world through their own lens, so no single perspective paints the full picture. When diversity is embraced, rather than tolerated, individuals feel they belong, and teams become smarter, more innovative, and more resilient. 

Today's Challenge: Think back to a recent conversation or meeting where someone shared a viewpoint you disagreed with, found hard to accept, or quickly dismissed. Revisit that moment with fresh eyes and ask yourself: "What did I (or the team) lose out on by not fully hearing them out?" 
Was it a new idea? A signal about what mattered to them? Or perhaps a missed chance to strengthen trust or collaboration? Even if you still wouldn't have agreed with their proposition, consider what value might have been there had you stayed open longer. 

At the end of the day, reflect on what you noticed. How might pausing to explore difference—rather than dismiss or fight it—change the quality of your relationships?

Being diverse in how you communicate isn't about abandoning your point of view. It's about recognizing that when we close the door too quickly, we often leave something valuable behind. By embracing diversity, we expand what's possible every time unfamiliarity shows up.

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #10: Empathy Starts with Curiosity
Being ADEPT | Be Empathetic

Welcome to Day 10 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Kudos for persevering and strengthening your ability to advocate, embrace difference, and expand what gets heard. Now we move into the next core ADEPT capability: Be Empathetic—a skill that dramatically improves dialogue when things matter most.

Being empathetic encompasses three sub-skills, if you will (Be Curious, Be Clear, and Be Love). Today, we start with curiosity. 

Curiosity isn't passive listening or polite nodding. It's an active choice to seek first to understand before responding or solving. When genuine curiosity leads, people feel safer, conversations slow down in the right way, and real understanding becomes possible. Without it, even well-intentioned communication can miss the mark. 

Today's Challenge: Choose one conversation today, ideally one with some tension, uncertainty, or emotional charge, and practice leading with curiosity before offering your perspective. 
Resist any urge to jump in to explain or respond right away. Simply try getting curious with a simple "Say more," or "Help me understand." 

Your goal is not necessarily agreement or resolution. Curiosity creates space for someone to feel that you're trying to understand what it's like for them. As you continue building this skill, you'll find that understanding doesn't slow progress down; it accelerates it. 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #11: Clear is Kind
Being ADEPT | Be Empathetic

Welcome to Day 11 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Yesterday, you practiced empathy by leading with curiosity, slowing down, asking questions, and seeking to understand before responding. In this stage, we add the next essential piece to being empathetic: Be Clear.

Empathy isn't only about understanding others, but also about helping others understand you. When we aren't clear—about expectations, needs, concerns, or boundaries—we often believe we're being kind or flexible. In reality, ambiguity creates confusion, misalignment, and unnecessary tension. Clear communication, delivered with care, is one of the most empathetic things you can do. 

To be clear means saying what matters simply, directly, and respectfully, so that others aren't left guessing. Clarity is not harsh. It's generous.   

Today's Challenge: Identify one situation today where something feels ambiguous, unspoken, or slightly "off" (an expectation, a decision, a next step, or a concern you've been carrying but haven't named). 
Instead of hinting, softening, or assuming others "should know," practice expressing one clear message. Try framing it in a way that's honest and considerate, such as "Here's what I need in order to move forward" or "I want to be clear about what I'm expecting here".

Keep it simple. No over-explaining, and no apologizing for being clear. Where did clarity help build trust or prevent unnecessary friction? What might change if you practiced being clear sooner, rather than later?

Empathy doesn't require guessing. When paired with clarity, empathy becomes a powerful force for connection and momentum. 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #12: Love 'em Up
Being ADEPT | Be Empathetic

Welcome to Day 12 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Over the past two days, you led with curiosity (seeking to understand) and followed with clarity (saying what matters without leaving others guessing). Today, those skills culminate in the final piece of being empathetic: Be Love.

Empathy isn't being curious without caring or being clear without kindness. Love is what keeps empathy intact when things get uncomfortable.

In skillful communication, love is not about being overly nice, emotional, or permissive. Rather, love is about choosing care, respect, and humanity, especially when conversations are difficult, time is tight, or emotions are high. Simply put, Be Love is remembering there's a human being on the other side of the exchange and letting that awareness guide how you show up.  

Today's Challenge: Think of an interaction today (present, or upcoming) where you need to communicate something honest or important. Before engaging, pause and ask yourself: "How do I want this person to feel after this conversation?" 
Let that answer guide your tone, word choice, and delivery. Try one small adjustment, like acknowledging effort before offering feedback, softening your delivery in moments of friction, or ending the conversation with respect, even if an agreement isn't reached. You're not changing what you're saying; you're choosing how you say it.

What shifted when you led with love? Did the conversation land differently? Did it feel more human even if it was still hard? 

Empathy comes full circle when curiosity opens the door, clarity lights the path, and love determines how we walk it together.  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #13: Presence is Your Power Move
Being ADEPT | Be Present

Welcome to Day 13 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Curiosity, clarity, and care have helped you navigate conversations with greater empathy. Today, we add the skill that makes those choices stick in real time: Being Present. 

Your presence can make, or break, a conversation. It shows up in your energy, focus, and how intentionally you step into an interaction.

To be present  is leadership in real time, as in leading yourself first. When you show up grounded and intentional, trust and openness follow. When you don't—when you're distracted, rushed, or reactive—even the "right" words can fall flat.  

Today's Challenge: Pick an interaction (a meeting, conversation, or even a quick chat) and intentionally reset before it begins.  
Before engaging, pause for 10 seconds and silently ask yourself: What's going on for me right now? What do I want to have happen? What energy or "vibe" best serves the work to be done? Then you can be present with purpose. 

Maybe this looks like calm instead of urgency, curiosity instead of judgment, or steadiness instead of stress. How did being present affect the conversation? How did it feel to lead yourself first? 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #14: Transparency as Trust
Being ADEPT | Be Transparent

Welcome to Day 14 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Congratulations for persevering and showing up for yourself and others! We've arrived at the final skill to being ADEPT at using your voice: Be Transparent. 

Transparency can strengthen, or erode trust. It's the willingness to share what's real in service to the whole: what you know, what you don't, what you can do, and what you can't. When transparency is missing, people fill in the gaps on their own (and often inaccurately). When transparency is there with positive intention, conversations become steadier, expectations clearer, and relationships more resilient. 

Being transparent doesn't mean oversharing or thinking out loud. It means being honest, timely, and intentional with information to support the collective. Transparency is respect in action.

Today's Challenge: Think of one situation today where something important has gone unspoken (an assumption, a concern, a constraint, or an uncertainty).  
Choose one thing to make transparent. It might sound like: "I want to be upfront about a limitation I believe we have" or "There's something important I want to share so we're aligned." You're not solving the whole issue; you're simply bringing reality into the room. 

Afterward, notice what changes. What did transparency make possible today? How did it feel to say what was needed, even if it felt slightly uncomfortable?

Transparency doesn't always make conversations easier in the moment, but it almost always makes outcomes better in the long run. When paired with advocacy, curiosity, care, and presence, it becomes a powerful force for trust and productivity.   

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #15: Activating ADEPT
The ADEPT Skills as Your Toolkit

Welcome to Day 15 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! You're now aware of the skills to help you navigate even the most challenging conversations. Today is about using what you already have and putting it all together. 

To be ADEPT in your communication is to draw on the right skill at the right moment, sometimes simultaneously. Being ADEPT is less checklist and more toolkit; you have a powerful set of communication tools at your disposal. In real conversations, these skills don't necessarily show up one at a time. Rather, you combine them as needed, often in moments that matter, as in major decisions, heightened tensions, feedback, alignment, or uncertainty. Today's challenge is designed to help you experience that integration in action.

Today's Challenge: Identify one real conversation today that matters to you—one where outcomes, relationships, or trust may be at stake. It could be a meeting, a check-in, a weighty decision, or a conversation you've been putting off. Before you engage, conduct this quick internal scan. 
Pause and approach ADEPTly:

• Be an Advocate: Who or what needs support here?

• Be Diverse: What perspective might I be missing?

• Be Empathetic: What might it feel like to be on the other side?

• Be Present: What energy do I want to bring?

• Be Transparent: What needs to be said for the group to be aligned?

Apply what's useful; no need to force each one. Just let them inform how you show up and what best serves the whole.

Afterward, notice what changes. How were you able to apply any of the skills to advance an outcome, relationship, or trust?

With practice, the ADEPT skills become habits that guide how you use your voice. Remember it's not about perfection. Bringing courage, awareness, and intentionality will get you started in a positive way for any conversation.   

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #16: The Courage to Be Wrong
Top 3 Communication Fears

Welcome to Day 16 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! You now have a clear framework (me-you-we) to guide how conversations unfold, and a powerful toolkit (ADEPT) to help you navigate them skillfully. At this point, let's shift gears to what often keeps us from using our voice. 

Fear plays a quiet but undeniable role in communication. It can show up as hesitation, overthinking, second-guessing, or choosing silence over contribution. When fear is in the driver's seat, even capable, thoughtful people hold back—not because they lack insight but because the perceived risk feels too high. 

One of the most common, and limiting, fears is the fear of being wrong. It convinces us that only if we're certain, polished, or perfectly prepared should we speak. It nudges us to defer, soften, or stay quiet rather than risk offering an idea that might miss the mark. Over time, this fear doesn't just limit participation; it limits learning, progress, and shared understanding. 

Conquering this fear starts with reframing what "wrong" actually means. Being wrong is not a personal failure. It's actually fundamental to success. Being wrong is how we learn the most—the thinking out loud, testing assumptions, and making mistakes is what moves work forward. The most effective communicators don't wait for certainty. They contribute early, invite input, and adjust as new information emerges. They treat communication as a process, not a performance.

Today's Challenge: Notice a moment today when you feel the urge to hold back because you're not fully sure, or you're worried about being wrong. Instead of retreating, take a small risk and contribute anyway.  
Try offering your thought as an exploration rather than a conclusion, like "Here's one way I'm thinking about this, what do you think?" or "I might be missing something, but..."  

Pay attention to what happens next. Does the conversation move forward? Do others build on what you shared? Do you feel more engaged, even if your idea evolves? 

Progress doesn't require perfection. It requires participation. Each time you speak up despite uncertainty, you weaken the grip of fear and strengthen your ability to communicate skillfully when it counts.    

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #17: Belonging vs. Being Yourself
Top 3 Communication Fears

Welcome to Day 17 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Yesterday, you explored the courage it takes to speak up even when you might be wrong. Today, we turn to a fear that often runs deeper and more quietly shapes how we show up: the fear of not fitting in.  

If the fear of being wrong makes us question what we say, the fear of not fitting in influences who we allow ourselves to be. This fear shows up as self-editing, tone-shifting, staying agreeable, or holding back parts of our perspective to avoid standing out. It whispers that acceptance depends on blending in and that belonging requires conformity. 

Conquering this fear begins with recognizing a powerful truth: real belonging isn't earned by fitting in but by showing up as you are. The perspectives, experiences, and instincts that make you different are often the very things that add value. When people withhold their voice to maintain harmony, teams lose depth, creativity, and trust. When they share it with care and intention, connection actually strengthens.

Today's Challenge: Take notice whenever you feel the urge to edit yourself—to agree when you don't, to stay quiet to avoid standing out, or to adjust your voice to match the room. Instead of defaulting to fitting in, try expressing one honest thought or perspective in a grounded, respectful way. 
It might sound like, "I see this a little differently" or "Here's a perspective I haven't heard yet."  

At the end of the day, reflect on how others responded. Did the conversation open up? How did it feel to bring more of you into the room? 

Belonging doesn't come from disappearing. It comes from contribution. Each time you choose authenticity over approval, you build the confidence to communicate with greater clarity, courage, and impact.    

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #18: Stop Walking on Eggshells
Top 3 Communication Fears

Welcome to Day 18 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Over the last two days, you've explored the courage to risk being wrong and the confidence to be yourself rather than blend in. Today, we address a third fear that often keeps people silent even when they care deeply about the outcome: the fear of offending.  

This fear often masquerades as kindness. It shows up as avoiding difficult topics, over-softening, hedging, or saying nothing at all because we don't want to upset someone, damage a relationship, or be perceived as insensitive. While the intention is understandable, the impact can be costly. When important truths go unspoken, misunderstandings linger, issues fester, and trust quietly erodes. 

Conquering the fear of offending begins with reframing what respectful honesty really is. Speaking with care does not mean withholding the truth. In fact, clarity delivered with empathy, presence, and transparency is one of the most respectful things you can offer. Skillful communicators don't aim to avoid discomfort at all costs; they aim to communicate in ways that honor both the message and the person receiving it. They trust that relationships built on honesty are stronger than those built on avoidance. 

Today's Challenge: Identify a situation where you've been holding back out of concern that you might offend someone. It could be feedback you've delayed, a concern you haven't raised, or a boundary you've softened too much. 
Instead of avoiding it, practice saying what needs to be said with care and intention. Try framing it with ownership and respect, such as "I want to share this thoughtfully and be helpful" or "My intention here is to be honest and constructive."  

Afterward, reflect on the experience. How did it feel to trust yourself to be both honest and considerate?  

As you take on this fear, take a moment to acknowledge the work you've done. You've practiced speaking up without certainty, showing up without shrinking, and telling the truth without hiding behind silence. That's not small progress—that's meaningful growth. Each fear you face expands your capacity to communicate with courage, clarity, and confidence.     

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #19: Hear All Voices
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 19 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today's challenge steps out of teaching mode and straight into real-world application. Below is a common scenario many professionals encounter—one that tests your instincts, judgment, and timing.   

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You're sitting in a meeting that feels...meaningless. The agenda is vague. The conversation circles the same points. No clear decisions are being made, and no next steps are emerging. People are talking but nothing is actually moving forward. Seriously people unplug by "looking down and doing email!" You glance at the clock and realize this meeting could easily continue for another 30 minutes this way. You sense others feel it too, yet no one says anything. Speaking up might feel awkward, disruptive, or like you're calling out the meeting itself.  

What do you do?  

Instead of disengaging (doing email) or silently enduring the meeting, try redirecting it with purpose. A simple, respectful intervention could sound like: "Can I pause us for a moment? What outcome are we hoping to achieve in the next 10 minutes?" 

Why this works: Meaningless meetings often persist not because people don't care but because no one takes responsibility for steering them. When someone respectfully names the gap—purpose, decision, or next steps—the room often shifts immediately. Remember: you're not being difficult. You're being helpful. 

Skillful communication isn't only about what we say; it's about when we intervene and what we make possible for others. When you help a group refocus, you give everyone their time and attention back.     

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #20: Leadership Skillfulness
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 20 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Yesterday, you practiced stepping into moments that matter and helping groups refocus together. Today we shift toward leading with intention. Leadership skillfulness isn't about titles or authority. It's about recognizing moments that need leadership and choosing to step into them.    

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You're about to start a cross-functional project with stakeholders from several teams. Past projects have faltered because roles were unclear, responsiveness varied, and decision rights assumed rather than stated. You know this group has good intentions, but you also know that without clarity upfront, old frustrations could resurface. Before the substantive kick-off discussion, you have an opportunity to set ground rules (non-negotiables) and help the team to best prepare so you can work together effectively over time. 

What do you do?  

Instead of assuming alignment or letting norms emerge by accident, try proposing "non-negotiables" in a way that invites collaboration rather than authority. You might say: "I've noticed in the past that these areas were pain points—can we align on what's most important to us here?" or "Before we dive in, I want to share a few commitments I'm holding about how we'll work together, and I'd love to hear yours."  

Why this works: When leaders explicitly propose "non-negotiables" and invite others into the conversation, they reduce ambiguity, prevent assumptions, and build trust through clarity. Rather than imposing rules, you're enrolling others in a way of working that honors people and purpose. It sets the tone for accountability, mutual respect, and shared success.   

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #21: Feedback With Finesse
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 21 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Now that you've practiced stepping into moments that matter and setting expectations to help groups prepare better, today turns to another core leadership capability: feedback.

Think of feedback as a gift to help someone, not a field day for criticism. Skillful feedback is specific, behavioral, and forward-looking. It focuses on actions or behaviors and the impact, not on who a person is. Conveying feedback with care and clarity helps people improve, feel seen, and stay connected to shared goals. Steering clear of personal judgments and using curiosity to help a person to consider how others may be perceiving them can make the difference between feedback that demotivates and feedback that inspires growth.     

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You've noticed that a colleague regularly interrupts others in team discussions. It's subtle (not rude on its face), but it repeatedly cuts off others' contributions and dampens engagement. The dynamic has become noticeable and is affecting team flow and psychological safety. You know the person cares about the team's success and probably isn't doing this on purpose, but if nothing changes, the pattern may become more entrenched. You care about collaboration and want to raise this in a way that strengthens trust, not bruises confidence.

What do you do?  

Instead of bluntly calling them out or avoiding the issue, try a clear, compassionate, behavior-focused conversation. A way to initiate might sound like: "Hey, can I share something I've noticed that might help our team conversations go even more smoothly?" or "In the last few meetings, I noticed a couple of times when others were speaking that you stepped in quickly. <pause> How do you think others may have felt?"  

Why this works: Skillful feedback is specific, observable, and actionable—not vague or personal—and well received. So it's key to ensure the recipient understands that you're on their side as you share details of the what, why, and what's next. When you give feedback that doesn't leave someone guessing or feeling judged, you invite dialogue, empathy, and shared solution-building.

Try noticing the impact this approach has on both the relationship and the behavior itself. Do you feel the conversation landed with more mutual understanding?   

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #22: Feedback With Grace
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 22 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Yesterday focused on delivering feedback in a way that builds trust and momentum. Today turns to the other side of the exchange: how we receive feedback.

Here's the truth: while how feedback is delivered is out of our control, we can control how we receive it. Feedback doesn't always come perfectly packaged. It may be clumsy, incomplete, or poorly timed. Still, skillful communicators choose the high road, assuming positive intent where possible, accepting the gift graciously, and focusing on what they can learn rather than how it was delivered. That choice—more than the feedback itself—is what fuels growth. 

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You receive feedback from a manager that catches you off guard. They say something like, "I think the way you handled that meeting came across as dismissive." You didn't intend that at all, and the comment feels blunt. Your instinct is to explain yourself or mentally dismiss it because the delivery wasn't great. 

What do you do?  

Instead of reacting to the tone or defending your intent, try staying open to the information. A grounded response might sound like: "Thank you for sharing this—I certainly want to improve. Help me understand how that landed so I can be more effective" or "Thank you. That's helpful to know and not my intention. Would you say more?"

Why this works: This approach keeps you in control. You're not agreeing or disagreeing but choosing to learn first. Even if the feedback wasn't delivered skillfully, you're extracting what's useful and deciding how to apply it. 

Receiving feedback with grace doesn't mean accepting every critique as truth. It means recognizing that data is data, and there is value in knowing how others experience us, even when it's uncomfortable to hear. When you respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you signal confidence, maturity, and leadership.

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #23: Teamwork that Works
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 23 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today's challenge focuses on one of the most common (and costly) breakdowns in teamwork: people working hard, but not together. Collaboration doesn't fail because people don't care but because alignment is assumed rather than created, especially when things move fast.

When alignment is missing, teams often mistake activity for progress. Everyone is busy yet energy is fragmented, decisions feel slow, and frustration quietly builds beneath the surface. 

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You're part of a team moving quickly on a high-profile project. Everyone seems engaged and well-intentioned, but you start noticing subtle disconnects. There are different assumptions about priorities, mixed interpretations of success, and parallel efforts that don't quite line up. No one has raised it explicitly, and nothing yet has "blown up," but you sense inefficiency and future friction brewing—not good.

What do you do?  

While it's tempting to power through and hope things will sort themselves out, or attempt to fix things solo, try pausing the work to align the people. This could look like: "I've noticed we may not all be on the same page about some key items. To ensure no one is spinning their wheels, can we revisit what success looks like for us?" or "What does each of us see as the top priority right now?"

Why this works: Alignment prevents rework, confusion, and unspoken frustration. When someone names the need for shared understanding, collaboration becomes intentional rather than accidental. You help the team move forward together, not just faster.

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #24: Let's Talk About Your Manager
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 24 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today turns to a relationship that can significantly shape your experience at work: the one with your manager. Being skillful here is not about pleasing, performing, or posturing; it's about partnership.

Many frustrations with managers stem not from bad intent but from unspoken expectations, mismatched communication styles, or unclear priorities. Skillful professionals recognize that managing up is less about control and more about clarity.

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

Your manager is smart, capable, and stretched thin. You've noticed moments where expectations feel unclear, feedback arrives late, or decisions seem reactive rather than aligned. You could quietly adapt, vent to others, or grow resentful but you also see an opportunity to improve how the two of you work together. 

What do you do?  

Instead of stewing or assuming, initiate a conversation with your manager that creates clarity. You might say: "What does 'great' look like to you on this project?" or "How do you prefer updates—headlines or details?"

Why this works: The most effective communicators don't wait for perfect leadership. They help create it. By proactively clarifying expectations and adapting to how your manager operates, you make day-to-day work smoother and send a powerful signal: this is someone ready for more responsibility (Yes, that kind of signal!). 

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #25: Productive Conflict
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 25 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today's focus is conflict—not the destructive kind that erodes trust, but the productive kind that sharpens thinking and leads to better decisions.

Avoiding conflict may feel safer in the moment. However, over time, this often creates bigger problems: missed risks, shallow buy-in, and decisions that don't hold up under pressure. Skillful communicators know that disagreement handled well is a sign of a healthy team. 

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You disagree with a colleague about a key decision. You see risks they don't, and you prioritize different outcomes. The conversation feels tense and you sense the pull to either back down to keep the peace or push harder to "win" the argument.  

What do you do?  

Instead of avoiding or escalating, reframe the conflict as shared problem-solving. This might go like: "We may be coming at this from different angles, but I know we both want to succeed—can we compare how we're seeing the risks?" or "Help me understand what's driving your view."

Why this works: Productive conflict separates people from positions. When disagreement is anchored in curiosity and shared purpose, it becomes a source of insight rather than tension. You don't weaken your perspective; you strengthen the outcome by staying engaged.

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #26: Skillfulness Starts with You
Perfect Practice

Welcome to Day 26 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today brings things back to the foundation for every communication skill you've practiced so far: self-awareness and observation. How you show up internally shapes everything that follows externally.

Many conversations go sideways not because of what was said, but because of the energy, assumptions, or emotional state we bring into the room without realizing it. 

Today's Challenge Scenario: 

You enter a conversation feeling rushed, irritated, or distracted. Nothing has gone wrong yet, but your internal state is quietly influencing how you listen, interpret, and respond. You're technically "present," but not fully available. 

What do you do?  

Instead of pushing through on autopilot, pause and observe. Try asking yourself: "What's happening in the room (energy, tone, pace)? And what do I need to shift in myself to engage more skillfully?"

Why this works: Self-awareness gives you choice. Observation gives you context. Together, they allow you to respond intentionally rather than reactively. This is the quiet skill beneath every other skill and the one that makes them usable in real time.  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge—whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this!

Day #27: Pause > "Right?"

Welcome to Day 27 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Today focuses on an immediate difference in how you come across: removing filler words and using the power of the pause. And yes...my word is "right?" (We all have one.) 

Filler words aren't "bad." They're usually a sign your brain is moving fast and your mouth is trying to keep up. But when they stack up –like, um, you know, right?–your message can lose strength. Pausing, on the other hand, communicates calm and confidence without adding a single extra word. It gives your listener space to absorb what matters, and it give you a moment to choose your next words with intention.

Today's Challenge: In a meeting, presentation, or even a casual conversation, record yourself speaking. Then, listen back. 
Yes, it might be painful, but that's the point. Notice your habits: where filler words appear, where you rush, where you trail off, where you don't breathe. Then, in your next interaction, replace your filler words with a pause. One beat. One breath. No apology. Simply pause and continue. 

At the end of the day, reflect on what changed when you paused instead of rambled to fill space. What did you notice about how you communicate under pressure?  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this! 

Day #28: Back to the Basics Part I
Me-You-We Check-In

Welcome to Day 28 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! You're in the home stretch! Today, we circle back to the cornerstone framework of skillful communication: Me-You-We. 

Frameworks work when they become personal. You don't necessarily need to "do all three" perfectly every conversation. The real win is knowing when a particular component is needed. And it can help to know your default–where you naturally excel–and to notice where you tend to underuse a part of the framework, especially when things get fast, tense, or uncertain. When pressure rises, most people revert to their habits. Me-You-We gives you a steady way to reset.

Today's Challenge: Take five quiet minutes and do a Me-You-We self-audit. Ask yourself: "What do I most excel at right now? Where do I need the most growth?" 
Then, choose one small experiment for the next conversation you have today:

• If your growth edge is Me, focus on how you show up (monitor your energy, tone, and intent).

• If it's You, ask one more question than you normally would.

• If it's We, name alignment: "Let me check we're on the same page about this."

What shifted when you chose a different "gear" than your default? What did it reveal about where you're growing (and where you might need more practice)?  

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this! 

Day #29: Back to the Basics Part II
ADEPT Check-In

Welcome to Day 29 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge! Like yesterday, today is about revisiting your communication toolkit, not as concepts, but as real skills you can choose in real time. The ADEPT skills:
Be an Advocate, so you help others speak up
Be Diverse, to embrace difference
Be Empathetic, so you walk in others' shoes (and includes: Be Curious to seek to understand | Be Clear to confirm what others hear | Be Love to put people first)
Be Present, to lead yourself first 
Be Transparent, and show vulnerability

Being ADEPT isn't about using every tool in every conversation. It's about building range. When you have range, you're not stuck with one communication style. You can advocate when something needs to be said, broaden perspectives when the room gets narrow, bring empathy when emotions rise, stay present when stress creeps in, and be transparent when trust depends on what's real. The point is choice, so your communication becomes intentional, not accidental.  

Today's Challenge: In your journal, or as a mental note, reflect on your application of the ADEPT toolkit. 
Answer:
1. Which ADEPT skill is most natural for me right now? (What do I already do well?)
2. Which skill do I avoid or underuse–and why? (What fear or habit pulls me away from it?) 
Then, pick one "stretch skill" and write one sentence you'll practice using today. For example: 

Advocate: "I want to make sure we don't miss ___."
Diverse: "What's a perspective we haven't heard yet?"
Empathetic: "Help me understand what matters most to you here."
Present: "Let me pause for a moment. I want to respond thoughtfully."
Transparent: "Here's what I know, here's what I don't, and here's what I suggest."

What happened when you practiced the skill you normally avoid? Did you feel more capable, even if it felt unnatural or uncomfortable?

Cheering for you to make the most of this 30-day challenge–whether you're recommitting to a resolution, trying something new, or simply choosing to turn over a fresh leaf this year. One small step today can change how you show up all year long. You've got this! 

Day #30: Appreciate YOU
Celebrating the Growth You Built

Welcome to Day 30 of the 30-Day Say It Skillfully Challenge–and thank you for being part of the solution. By showing up, reflecting, practicing, and taking risks, you've done something many people intend to do but don't: you committed to growth. 

Today's focus is on one of the most important and most overlooked communication skills: appreciation directed at you. It's easy to finish a challenge and immediately jump to what you still need to improve. But skillful growth requires reinforcement.  

If you don't acknowledge your progress, you train your brain to only see gaps. Appreciation doesn't mean "I'm done." It means "I see what I've built, and I'm proud I showed up." 

Today's Challenge: Take five minutes and write yourself a short appreciation note. Keep it specific and real. 
Consider including ways you grew (even small ones count!), moments you showed courage, and qualities you respect in yourself. Then choose one small way to mark the moment–tell a friend, take a walk, share a takeaway, or simply pause and let it land: you did this!    

As always, cheering for you to make the most of your 2026! This challenge doesn't end today; it continues every time you choose awareness over autopilot, courage over silence, and connection over comfort. Thank you for being part of the solution, and for showing up with intention.

To help you keep going, I encourage you to check out the Say It Skillfully On Demand program, designed specifically to help you build your communication capability, so you can "Be ADEPT"! You can also bring Say It Skillfully to your colleagues and help create a workplace where people feel heard, valued, and perform at their best. Learn more here!